By the Water
by ClairvoyantMoonchild
Summary: Lifting Tret's curse saved many lives, but also inadvertently ended another. Ivan is haunted by Jill's death at the Kolima barricade, and carries the guilt with him as he continues the journey. However, he finds unexpected wisdom from Garet, who knows of a similar pain. Garet and Ivan friendship fic.


**By the Water**

_Why? Why didn't I realize it? Or did I, and I just didn't care?_

The day had drawn to a close, a dark purple sky above and the sound of night creatures all around growing clearer. Unable to find a town and unwilling to backtrack for several miles to Bilibin in the night, the group had settled on a clearing in the woods as their resting place for the night. The rustling of leaves from the wind brushing past the surrounding trees, once a comforting sound to the group's Jupiter Adept, now almost felt like a condemnation.

_"We were once called the Gang of Three... I guess we're just a Gang of Two now..."_

Ivan stared into the small fire Garet had built, his thoughts a thousand miles away as his friends set down their heavy equipment and items. In his mind, he could still see the two distraught young men, standing together by the water. The noise made him look up to see the rest of his group. Garet and Mia were trying to find a comfortable spot to sleep while Isaac leaned back against a tree, one arm propped up on one knee, having elected himself to be on watch for danger.

_They could have said something too. What could *I* have done, really? We had to hurry... we had to save lives. What could I have done?_

"Ivan? Are you alright?" Ivan did not respond to Mia's gentle query. "...Ivan?"

"Hey, what's wrong?" Garet was speaking to him now. "Hey! Weyard to Ivan. Wake up!"

Isaac was silent, but out of the corner of his eye, Ivan could see that he was watching him intently, a glimmer of concern in his own eyes.

_"The poor girl..."_

_...A lot more. That's what I could have done._

"Nothing. Please don't worry about me." Ivan stood up, leaving his pack of items behind, but picking up his sheathed rapier. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go for a walk. I won't go far."

"A walk? Now?!" Garet pressed on, showing worry in his usual loud manner. "You realize we're in a dangerous forest at night, right?"

"I'll be alright. Just need to be alone."

"Ivan..." Mia protested, starting to stand as well. "You shouldn't go alone. At least let one of us-"

"I _said _I need to be alone." Ivan uttered harshly, inwardly regretting his tone as he watched a look of hurt pass over Mia's face.

"Hey, she's trying to help, brat!" Garet snapped, sitting up angrily. "Don't go taking out whatever your problem is on her."

"Garet..." Mia said softly, shaking her head to calm him down.

_"We'll never climb on each other's shoulders again..."_

Ivan walked through the clearing and into the trees, paying no mind to the actions of his friends behind him.

"Weird kid, I swear..." Garet mumbled, lying back on the ground and resting his head against his pack as a pillow.

"Garet," Mia gently admonished again. "Something is clearly deeply troubling him. I think we should go see what it is."

"But I just got comfortable..." Garet looked over at Mia to see a glare being sent his way. "Damn it. Fine, fine, I'm getting up."

"I'll go." Isaac stood up from his place against the tree. "You two get some rest. You deserve it after today."

"No," Garet said, raising a hand to stop Isaac. "I'll do it. You deserve it more than I do. I'll see what's wrong." Catching the look on Mia's face as he stood up, he smirked good-naturedly and reassured her, "And I won't beat it out of him either, don't worry."

With a smile from the Mercury Adept, Garet stood and began walking in the direction Ivan had gone, sharing a nod with Isaac as he passed to silently reassure him that he'd be alright going out on his own to find their wayward companion.

It did not take long for Garet to find Ivan since, true to his word, he had not gone far. The Jupiter Adept was standing before a small stream that ran through the woods, gazing down into the water. As Garet's footsteps drew nearer, Ivan slowly turned to look at his companion. Seeing who it was, he looked away with a slight scoff.

"I said I wouldn't go far."

"Yeah, well I'm not here to protect you, kid. I'm here because Mia's worried about you, and I'm here to talk and get you to man up about whatever's bugging you."

Ivan shrugged and turned away, looking back at the water. "There's nothing to talk about. Go back." As an uncomfortable silence filled the air, Ivan took the time to look around at the scenery around him. Maybe these trees were thinking right now, admonishing him of his treatment of his friend.

It seemed ridiculous to think so, and he would never have considered it in the past, leaving such things for nonsensical stories that travelers told in Vault of magic trees. But after meeting Tret and reading the minds of the cursed people of Kolima, Ivan had found a new appreciation for what the woods represented to the world.

He turned around to see Garet still watching. Indeed, the Mars Adept's stubborness was one of his more notable traits. Ivan was slighltly surprised, however, that Garet's brown eyes showed clear concern, not annoyance. "Ivan," he spoke, forcefully, but kindly. "What are you doing out here? Tell me."

Ivan turned away again and looked back at the flowing water before him. "Today... at the Kolima barricade..."

"The girl that died?"

Ivan nodded. "...Maybe I'm just hoping she'll turn up. That she'll float through here. That I can still go back and correct my mistake."

Unseen by Ivan, Garet's face had suddenly taken on a look of understanding. "You didn't make any mistake."

"Yes, I did. I saw her, Garet. I _saw _her. I knew something didn't look right... but I just kept on going."

"We were in a hurry. We didn't know how long these people had. We saved many lives today."

"Yes, we did... and she's the only one that didn't make it. The _only one._ Do you understand that? Just one person. Because of me."

"We all could have been more observant. I understand how you feel."

"Do you?" Ivan finally turned around to face Garet, who still stood where he had been moments ago, simply watching his friend. "I read their thoughts, Garet. They all had their own voices. The one in Bilibin, and several in Kolima. I can still hear them. Calling out for help, wishing they could go back to normal. I can't put it out of mind..."

Garet frowned as Ivan slowly knelt down to the ground on one knee. The young mind-reader gently picked up a single leaf and seemed to stare at it for a moment, observing it as he continued to speak. "Just one person. And all I can think of now... is what she might have been saying to me when I just left her there. A voice that I wasn't there to listen to. Yelling for help or... or something. Anything. Maybe wishing none of this had happened, or... just wanting to go home."

Ivan looked up, slightly surprised to see that Garet had knelt down as well, right in front of him. He hadn't even heard him.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe I don't know what that's like. But I do know what it is to feel like you could have done more. You feel like you're being accused, but you don't know by who. Could be life itself, for all you know. You feel like, even though you didn't know this person and they weren't close to you, you wish you could bring them back... if only to see their friends and family smile rather than grieve."

Ivan remained silent, speechless. He had never considered that Garet was even capable of saying something so... wise. He watched as Garet reached down picked up one, two, three, four leaves. Holding them in his left palm, Garet tenderly placed his right hand over his left, holding the leaves tightly.

"Isaac's father, Jenna's mother and father..." A different look passed over Garet's face. Ivan observed as his face changed to one of anger, but then dissipated into... sadness? "...Felix. Even after they'd all disappeared, when the town's search for them had been called off since there was no longer any reason to hope... I was still out there. I don't even know why anymore. It was so stupid. But I thought... maybe, just maybe, I'd see them and bring them all back to their families.

"Jenna and Isaac grieved together, and I couldn't be a part of that. Not that I would ever want to, of course. I don't know what I'd do without my family. But... I felt like I was intruding when I was around. Felt like an outsider. I couldn't relate to their pain. So I went and stood by the river, long after I'd given up hope as well."

Garet looked up, and Ivan almost winced to see a few tears running down his cheeks. He'd never have guessed Garet even possessed the ability to cry. Garet seemed to become aware of it himself, and briskly brushed them away. "Anyway... maybe you can relate to that, maybe you can't. I don't know. The point is... these things are out of our control. So get used to it. Take the time you need, but start getting used to it too. Our mission isn't going to get easier with time, and you don't need to start piling guilt on top of everything."

Ivan watched as Garet let the leaves fall from his hand to the ground and stood up. Garet looked skyward and spoke, "We're trying to save the world here, Ivan, and the world's got a lot of people in it. You can't save them all. Some things are impossible, even for us."

As Garet began to walk away, back towards the clearing, Ivan spoke up, still staring at his leaf. "Do you think all this is one of those things? Saving Weyard?"

Garet paused. Silence fell over the pair again, broken only by the sounds of birds and insects all around, as well as the water and the wind. "I'm not standing by the water yet." Then he continued on until he was lost among the trees.

Ivan nodded to no one, and let out a short breath towards the leaf, watching it float away into the air before landing back on the ground, lost amongst the many that surrounded it. A passing traveller would deem it no significance. But to Ivan, it was so much more.

* * *

Disclaimer: Golden Sun is owned by someone that's not me. If it was, Isaac/Sheba and Mia/Jenna would be official. Don't ask, just continue looking at me with those shameful looks. Yeah, those.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the story. I was replaying the first game and realized just how sad the scene is when you don't save Jill at the Kolima barricade (not that you'd notice with that damn happy, bouncy music playing over the scene), and a story came forth. At first, it was going to be Isaac and Ivan having this talk, but I thought it fit so much better for Garet to have a wish of saving those who aren't exactly close to him, much like Ivan does here. Granted, I'm sure Garet was at least friends with Felix, but there's nothing to indicate some big closeness they had, so my non-canon characterization still stands. Ha! Suck it, searcher for inconsistencies! Nah, I'm just kidding, I love ya.

Anyway, I'm rather proud of this, given that it was written in under an hour and started out as a quick couple of paragraphs of moping, quickly becoming a little tribute to Garet, because Garet is awesome. So again, thanks for reading.


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